"By day the LORD directs his love, at night his song is with me - a prayer to the God of my life." (Psalm 42:8) When November comes around and the season of Thanksgiving, I often find it as one more day on my calendar. If I can just make it through this holiday, then I'm free until Christmas is often what I tell myself. I want to have a thankful heart; I want to have a place to sit and write my thanks to God; I want to remember all the good things that have come out of all the places and people I've known this year; I want to give due praise to the God of my salvation. Yet the holiday (and the season it brings) always bring stress and anxiety into my life and before long, I'm usually counting down the minutes until life resumes normalcy again. But I was challenged on my choices this Thanksgiving. You see, this Thanksgiving I made the decision to not make the drive home. For various reasons (mainly efficiency), I stayed where I was. And truthfully, it was one of the best Thanksgivings I've had. The city quieted down as everyone left and I could feel my pace slow down with it. The morning was spent making breakfast with my friend and watching football, the afternoon filled with hiking until the sun pushed me out of the park. I've never felt so thankful as when I got in my car post-hiking and realized how very needed the alone time was - especially for my relationship with my Father. I spend so little one-on-one time with him because, simply, there is so little space where I am ever truly alone anymore. There are always people around, so even in my stillness there is noise. And for the rest of the weekend, I drove up to my roommate's cabin and spent it with her family, playing games and going for walks to waterfalls and just reading. It was refreshing. It was much needed. Yet over the past couple weeks, family has been the topic of many conversations with others. And in listening to the sermon this Sunday, I was convicted of the reality that I don't love my family as I ought. I suppose we all don't, but I felt the twinge of conviction as I listened to my pastor talk about unity - and how, even in the midst of the Thanksgiving chaos, we are still a family. I didn't choose to not travel home because I don't love my family, but I knew in my heart there was more than a peppering of selfishness in my decision. And in knowing myself, I often run from places and people that I feel discord with, striving for that unity elsewhere. But the challenge came and remains in my thoughts - that I need to stay and learn how to be a unit with my family. "By day the LORD directs his love..." My Father loves my family and he directs his love towards them by day. I ask that that be your prayer for me as well, that I would love my family - both biological and church - directly, day by day.
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